Thursday, July 2, 2009


After reading the press release, I had a moment to speak with my roommates. I think they could tell I was bothered and that's how it came up. I gave them no details, I'm not sure I could ever repeat it, and all they knew of the crime was the gist; they had even less of the details than I previously had.

I spoke with them about it in much the same way I wrote it here; it started with the church issue and that's when I learned there was a press release at all. I told them I read it and regretted it, just because things were easier in the ignorance of it.

One of my roommates told me that he could not do what I do. He could not support his friend, if he had a friend in this situation, and he didn't understand how I could. I told him I didn't either.

Then I explained that it mostly comes from duty as the spiritual guide I am to help the life that needs it. Even a little of it was defending Monty and his choices to take responsibility for his actions. Still, my roommate maintained, he would not be able to find the compassion that I am barely clinging to.

It wasn't a comment on merits in me. It almost felt like an accusation, though I'm sure that's not what he intended. His unwavering intolerance (and I mean no disdain by saying it that way, I completely understand my roommate's point of view) was filled with disbelief: disbelief that anyone could find any kind of compassion to offer in this case.

My only answer is that I still don't know why I can. I know now where it comes from, but I don't know why.

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